Family Meetings & The 9-Year Change

Family meetings can you help adapt your parenting to fit the changing needs of your family. 

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

One of the most challenging (and demoralizing) aspects of parenting is realizing that you must constantly revise your parenting strategies. The tips, techniques and discipline strategies that worked so well when your little boy was 2 don’t work at all when he’s 6 — and whatever you do when he’s 6 won’t work when he’s 16.

It can be hard for parents to adapt to their kids’ development changes. The very fact that we have to change our approach often comes as a surprise. “Nobody tells us, ‘Oh yeah, you figured it out all these years, but now you gotta do something different,” Janet says.

Children often experience significant intellectual and emotional growth around age 9, a phenomenon Waldorf educators call the “9 year change.” It’s a time when children begin to realize that others have different thoughts, when they begin to question the world — and their parents.

“Their opinions might be one way on Monday and completely different by Thursday. But that’s all part of the growth process,” Janet says. “That’s all part of them expressing their thoughts, expressing their opinions.”

As boys grow, parents must shift their role from Director to Collaborator. Family meetings can be helpful as parents and sons navigate this shift, as the meetings create opportunities for everyone in the family to share their ideas and concerns.

In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:
  • The 9 Year Change
  • Disrespect vs. developmentally appropriate questioning
  • Coping with kids who “know it all”
  • Moving toward a collaborative form of parenting
  • How to start and plan family meetings
  • Benefits of family meetings
  • Tips for successful family meetings
In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:

The Simple but Critical Purpose of Family Meetings: To ListenWashington Post article by our friend Meghan Leahy (if you haven’t listened to our podcast episode w her, do so now!)

Parenting Teenage Boys with Joshua Wayne — ON BOYS episode mentioned at about 24:00 — Schedule a FREE Breakthrough Session w Janet


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