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One of our jobs, as parents and educators of boys, is to help them learn how to deal with tough emotions — including grief. As much as we want to, we can’t protect our boys from hurt. Loved ones die. Parents divorce Friends move. Boys fail to achieve important goals, and experience rejection from peers.
Grief hurts. It comes and goes. Or it just stays and never seems to go away…
Everyone handles grief differently.
Boys tend to handle grief MUCH differently – we may be surprised AND concerned when we don’t see our boys cry after a major loss. .
Tom Golden, a therapist has worked with hundreds of boys and their families, has some great tips for helping boys him navigate grief.
Speaking of grief: Janet is taking some time as she has just helped her dad wind down his life (only weeks after an epic trip to England). He died with a dream realized and we are celebrating that!
In this episode, Jen & Tom discuss:
- What cross-cultural research tells us about how males & females grieve
- How action helps boys heal
- The link between safety & storytelling — and how both are necessary to help boys who are grieving
- How to identify your son’s “safe place”
- The physiological reason your boy might not cry
- Precarious manhood
- How parallel, shoulder-to-shoulder activities can help you connect with your boy
- What NOT to say to a grieving boy — & what to say instead
- Why honoring the deceased via action is so important & meaningful to boys & men
- Red flags that might indicate a need for professional help
Links we mentioned (or should have) in Episode 129:
Getting Closer to Boys — Tom’s website that helps moms better understand boys
TGolden.com — Tom’s professional website (and a great place to explore ALL of his work)
Helping Mothers Be Closer to Their Sons: Understanding the Unique World of Boys, by Tom Golden
If you are grieving, we send you hugs. Know that you are not alone. <3