Need some practical parenting strategies to help you manage hitting, backtalk and disobedience?
Amy Williams has solutions. Amy is a school counselor who also helps overwhelmed and stuck parents. And let’s be real: we all feel overwhelmed, stuck, and unsure at various points during our parenting journey.
Giving ourselves grace is step one to moving forward, Amy says. Pause. Take some deep breaths. Step away from the situation, if you can.
“If the tantrum is happening over there, but there are no blood, brains or bones, you can take a minute to take care of yourself,” she says, “so you can come back and be the parent you want to be vs. the parent who is at that high stress, dysregulated state.
“Our children need us to be regulated, and when we don’t take our own self into consideration and have respect for ourselves as a person — and know how to regulate ourselves — then our children won’t see that happen. We are role models.”
Despite our best intentions, many of us unconsciously sabotage our parenting efforts. The most common forms of parental self-sabotage include:
- Talking too much
- “Forgetting to pant”
- Negative scripting
- Ignoring your own unmet needs
Identifying your typical patterns can help you figure out which changes to make to quickly yield better results.
In this episode, Jen, Janet & Amy discuss:
- Why self-care is essential for effective parenting
- How role-modeling can teach emotional regulation
- 4 ways parents sabotage their parenting efforts
- Adult talking speed vs. kids’ processing speed (we talk too fast for kids to process!)
- Connecting with your child during “neutral” time
- Breaking family patterns
- Narrating interactions with your kids
- What to say when your child says, “I’m stupid!” or “I hate you!”
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:
Amy Williams Academy — Amy’s website
Caring Discipline: Practical Tools for Nurturing Happy Families and Classrooms, by Joanne Nordling — book mentioned at 20:51
Teacher Tom Talks About Boys, Emotions, & Play — ON BOYS episode mentioned at 42:00
janetlansbury.com — website of parenting educator mentioned by Amy
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